i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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