Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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