Will you blow on my dice?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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