i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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