saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
