420 ftw
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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