I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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