we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
