I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
