Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
