Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
