last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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