I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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