She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
