Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
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I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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