How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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