I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
