are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
