my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
