time to smoke my breakfast
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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