I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
