hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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