she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
