pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
