summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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