she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
