I am puke
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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