Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
