i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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