you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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