I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
