I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i love accidental penises.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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