you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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