we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
