Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
