butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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