I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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