Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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