yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Buhtt sex?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
