i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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