She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
