i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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