After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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