He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
