there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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