I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
