Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
