I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize