Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
