It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize