why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
