dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
