I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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