I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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