it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
