THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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