I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
