I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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