i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
