these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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