MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
