You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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