Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
