i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
