Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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