Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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